


I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

by weapon13WhiteFang



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Paranormal, Romance, Spiritual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:47:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22735096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weapon13WhiteFang/pseuds/weapon13WhiteFang
Summary: A gift to a friend, based on their awesome fic "Don't Make Me Haunt You"! There's no canon to their fic, this was just a tiny weird barble that came out of my brain thingy lol Title taken from Knockin' on Heaven's Door" obviously!
Relationships: Daryl Dixon/Beth Greene
Comments: 4
Kudos: 26





	I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SquishyCool](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SquishyCool/gifts).



When Beth was only five years old, she’d seen her first death. It had been her grandma Lewis – mama’s own mother – and she had been slowly slipping away. Beth had been brought to her grandma’s house with the rest of her family to see her one last time. Something Beth hadn’t really understood back then, being so young. She had just understood that grandma Lewis hadn’t greeted them with warm hugs and kisses, but had been hooked up to machines in her own bedroom with mama and her mama’s brothers – her uncles – standing around the room.

Beth had stood at the side of her grandma and had reached up to pat her hand. She remembered how clammy her grandma’s hand had felt. Gone was the soft warmth that radiated from her as she’d cup her face and give her plenty of kisses or as she wiped away any tears she had. She was simply clammy and almost cold.

She hadn’t realized what she was seeing when she saw it, but when the monitors all around grandma Lewis had begun to ring with warning, Beth had been scooped up by Shawn – who wasn’t much bigger than her so it was still a struggle back then – and he had started to drag her out of the room.

Before the door closed, Beth saw a beautiful light wrap around grandma Lewis. Then… She’d seen her grandpa Lewis and other people suddenly standing in the room. Nobody else seemed to notice them, the live in nurse and doctor working at the machines and grandma. Beth only saw her grandpa turn and smile at her before the door closed.

Grandpa Lewis had passed away when Beth was only a small baby. There was no way he should’ve been there.

Beth tried to tell her mama and daddy over and over again but they hadn’t seemed to believe her. So Beth – so young and carefree – had slowly let the event pass as some imagination… Until she was eight years old and found a kitten outside. The kitten had looked strange but Beth had just been so excited to find a new little kitty and with her daddy as a vet, he could tell her why the kitty was so weird looking.

Beth had brought the kitten to her daddy… And he’d only chuckled and commented about how wonderful and imaginative she was. He’d ruffled her hair and walked on and Beth had been able to turn and look in the large dressing mirror in her mama and daddy’s room and-

There was no kitty in her arm.

For years these sort of things would continue. Beth would find herself seeing things that no longer were. Animals and people that should very much not be there, would be right before her eyes…. It was a terrifying thing for a long time. For Beth knew that what she was seeing shouldn’t be and was not normal at all! Was she sick? Was she crazy? Why could no one else see these things?

It would take Beth years to slowly come to terms with what she was able to see... But she would come to truly appreciate it when on a cold wintery night, her brother Shawn and her mama were taken from her due to a terrible accident that no one was at fault for. Just that one minute they had been there… And the next they were gone.

The King’s County Sheriff had shown up at their door and Beth remembers Maggie screaming and falling to her knees as her daddy clutched to her. Beth had been standing on the porch, not understanding at first… But seeing the officers and seeing Maggie and daddy look so devastated… Beth didn’t need to be any closer to understand just what was happening…

Especially not as she watched Mama and Shawn come slowly walking towards them the house from the fields… From the direction their lives had been cut short.

Beth had collapsed right then.

**…**

“The Hell you doing up there?” a voice called down below Beth that made her smile.

Leaning just slightly over her spot on the large slab of wood that made as a makeshift post where a treehouse was once going to be built in the old red oak that overlooked the old fields and out to her house, Beth’s smile widened as a pair of tired blue eyes stared up at her behind a curtain of dark shaggy hair.

Closing her journal, Beth placed it in the old wooden bucket beside her before using the rope thrown over a branch above her to lower it to the ground. A strong hand grabbed the bucket and plucked the journal out, but Beth didn’t worry about him trying to read it. He never did before and she didn’t expect him too now.

With practice ease, Beth used the branches below her to maneuver down from the old red oak. As she stretched to try and reach the bottom. Warm large hands grasped her waist and helped her down, her hands on broad shoulders until her feet touched the ground and she was looking up instead of down at the dark blue eyes.

“You’re early, Daryl Dixon,” Beth was the first to speak, her smile softening as she took the journal from him. 

He shrugged and went to take a seat under the tree, his back pressed against the firm oak. He dug his cigarettes and lighter out to give his hands something to do. Beth really should invest in a fidget band or ring for the man… Although he wasn’t much of a jewelry man. She doubted he’d even wear the thing.

As he lit the cigarette, Beth went took a seat beside him, her back also pressed against the oak as she smiled out at the large field that separated the oak from her home. It would be time to cut the fields soon. She loved that. The smell of cut grass and wheat was a pleasant scent that made her smile and brought back pleasant memories of chasing Maggie and Shawn through the tall strands.

“How’s Merle?” Beth asked, earning a scoff from Daryl that made Beth giggle.

“Still the same then? Well… Say hi to him for me. He hasn’t been around in a while,” Beth noted, tracing the pattern on her journal’s old leather. It had been a gift from the man beside her two years ago. It was large enough for three years to fit in the pages and Beth made sure to put as much as she could in it. Especially since Daryl had made it for her…

“How’s your mama?” Beth asked, this time looking at the man as he flicked the ashes to the side and blew smoke away from her.

He didn’t answer for a while and Beth felt concerned. Maria Dixon had been through so much and after escaping Will Dixon years ago, she was finally able to reunite with her sons and be happy… Beth would hate to hear that something terrible had happened to her…

“Ma’s leaving… Wants us to go with her.”

He spoke so low and gruffly that Beth almost didn’t catch what was said. He didn’t look at, staring down the end of his cigarette to the red tip. Beth blinked slowly before slouching back against the wood of the oak, glancing up at the leaves.

“Oh… Well… You always did say you’ve never been out of Georgia,” Beth mused aloud, turning to give him a small, if not weak, smile.

Daryl wouldn’t look back at her, his hair shading his eyes as he let his cigarette burn down. Beth sighed and slowly reached out but then decided against it. Daryl was touchy about being touched. He’d gotten better – such as when he grabbed her to help her down – but at times like this he could be unpredictable. She found it best to let him be the one to talk and make contact when he was ready. And if he never was, then he never was.

Clasping her hands together, Beth looked out to the house. It was just a little past noon, the sun still high in the sky and casting a warm glow on the golden feels as a light breeze made the tall strands of wheat look almost like the ocean. She’d never been to the ocean before, but she could almost imagine it like this.

In the distance Beth watched as Otis’ old red Ford made his way down the long stretch of their driveway towards the house. If she squinted she could just make out her daddy coming down the porch with the use of a cain, his bad leg most likely giving him trouble today.

“Do you think it’s selfish… That I want to beg you to stay?” Beth asked quietly, not expecting Daryl to respond. “That I want you to stay here with me…. To leave your mama and Merle to go off and leave us together?... That’s selfish of me… I know it is… So I won’t beg you, Daryl… I’ll miss you… But we’ll see each other again later, right?”

At this, Beth did turn to look at him and Daryl was staring right back at her. His intense deep blue eyes were unwavering and Beth hoped she didn’t look like she wanted to cry. Because she did… Even though she’d known that Daryl would probably leave Senoia with his mom and Merle someday. Especially since there was really nothing left to tie them to this place.

“Ain’t the same,” Daryl grumbled after a beat, glancing away as he flicked his used cig away and began to gnaw on the skin around his fingers. He always did that. His nervous habit had her bandaging up bloody fingers more than once…. She supposed it was better than the way Merle would suck loudly on his teeth or the way Maggie would just stare someone down while also pacing.

“No… But that’s okay. Things don’t always stay the same, afterall,” Beth humed, slowly reaching out to remove his hand from his mouth to see his face, squeezing his hand.

“I read something last night… About how every choice in life, big or small, is a crossroad. And at this crossroad there usually sits a god of some kind. Like there’s one called Janus and they’re often depicted with two faces. Or Elegua, who is a deity of roads and paths and he owns them and you have to be approved by Elegua before you can choose your path… In church the closes thing to them I can think of is Saint Christopher, who is a saint of travelers…” Beth trailed off, smiling sadly. “Mama had his image in her vehicle… It didn’t do her much good though, I guess…”

Beth wasn’t really sure where she was going with this story, yet she felt she needed to tell him about it. That this mesh of useless information was important… Although she couldn’t fully fathom why it was so important-

“You’ll be all alone, girl…” Daryl’s voice cut through her thoughts as he squeezed her hand, still interlocked. 

“No I won’t. I have my family and friends… And I’ll always have my memories, right here and here… And here,” she motioned to her heart, her head, and her journal. “I won’t ever loose those… And again, we’ll see each other once again so it’s okay.”

Daryl gritted his teeth before hanging his head and yanking Beth forward, pulling her into a tight hug. Beth startled for a moment, not used to this. Normally she initiated all the hugs. Smiling, Beth buried her face into his shoulder and gave a light squeeze, taking in his scent.

“Just ask me to stay, girl, and I will.”

“You gotta go, Daryl… Your mama needs you and Merle. I’ll be alright… You just send me a postcard of some sort from time to time, okay?”

Daryl scoffed and Beth smiled, eyes watery as she slowly let him go and pushed the hair from his face to smile at him. He gave her a weak twitch of his lips – closes thing to a smile he would muster for her – before Beth kissed his forehead and he went absolutely still.

“Just don’t you forget about me while you’re gone, okay?” Beth whispered and Daryl shook his head.

“Nah… Ain’t possible to forget a stubborn girl like you,” he rasped and Beth chuckled sadly as she slowly stepped back from him.

“When you get to that crossroad… You’ll have to let me know who you met, okay?” 

Daryl nodded as he stood up and stared at her. Then, slowly, he reached a hand out to cup her face and Beth’s breath hitched as his mouth lowered to her own and….

**…**

“There you are, Doodlebug,” Her daddy sighed as Beth slowly went up the front stairs, her father sitting on the porch swing with a glass of tea.

“Hi, daddy. How’s your leg?” Beth asked, coming to sit by him, leaning into his open arm as he sat his tea aside to hug her.

“it would be better if he’d rest it more, Bethy,” Annette’s voice drifted to the right of Beth and she smiled as he daddy waved off that it was just a little sore and would be fine. 

Out of the corner of her eye, Beth saw her mama tut but give her daddy a loving smile as Shawn – sitting in one of the chairs on the other side of the porch – chuckled. 

“Otis said you were at the old tree house. Haven’t gone out there in awhile, doodlebug… Feeling alright?” Hershel asked, concerned in his voice as Beth smiled at him while he rubbed her back.

“I’m fine, daddy… Just felt like the place I needed to go this morning. Didn’t mean to stay there so long,” she replied, sitting back on the swing as Hershel smiled and took her hand, giving it a loving squeeze, his hands older and rougher than her own.

“Used to worry your mama sick when those boys would be banging away on that old tree to build that thing for you", her daddy chuckled and Beth gave a small laugh of her own.

“Especially after Shawn fell out of it and cracked his arm,” Beth glanced over at her brother as he scowled.

“If Merle would’ve held the damn board right, wouldn’t have happened that way but he was too busy being mouthy with Maggie,” he huffed out as Annette simply smiled.

“Yeah well… It was bound to be me or Shawn that fell out of it, you know?” Beth mused as Hershel nodded, smiling at her before it became a sad one.

“It’s a shame about them Dixon boys… Will Dixon was a mean and sinful man but to do what he did to those young men…” Hershel trailed off and Beth’s heart ached as she nodded and squeezed her daddy’s hand.

“I’m sorry, doodlebug. I know that’s not your favorite subject,” her daddy sighed, kissing her knuckles as her mama came closer to rub her back.

“It’s okay, daddy… I just pray they were finally able to move on and find peace with their mama,” Beth swallowed a thick lump in her throat as she answered, looking out across the yard as Otis made his way to the barn to get the tractor.

“I pray for that as well, Bethy… Now… What’s this about your sister and some surprise she has for me?” Hershel asked, changing the subject and making Beth’s face split into a smile as she laughed and shook her head, not letting her daddy wheedle anything out of her.

**…**

“Ya say goodbye, little brotha?” Merle came up beside him as Daryl stood at the top of the hill, standing back far enough that Beth wouldn’t see him but still able to see down onto the porch as Beth spoke animatedly with her father.

He nodded and dug out another cigarette, Merle lighting this one for him as he dragged out his own cigarette, the two standing and watching the Greene farm as the wind picked up around them. His eyes stared longingly at Beth but he ducked his head so his brother couldn’t see it… Even though he was certain Merle had already seen him.

If he had, at least the loud bastard wasn’t saying anything for once.

“Girlie take it okay?” he asked and Daryl gave a half shrug as if to say “as well as expected”.

“Heh… She’ll be alright. Got that cozy little daytime television family watchin’ out for her after all. Ain’t no need to worry,” Merle smirked, patting Daryl on the shoulder as he flicked ashes off his cigarette. “Plus she’ll be busy helping her crazy ass sister and the Chinese kid watch that new rugrat on the way.”

“Korean, dumbass,” Daryl muttered for the umpteenth time to his brother.

“Whatever, man,” Merle laughed as he flicked his cigarette away as the wind shifted and a voice called out behind them.

“Merle? Daryl? You ready to go?” the voice – soft spoken, but full of kindness under a raspy drawl – spoke louder as Daryl flick his own cigarette away and turned to watch as a young woman with hair as dark as his own and eyes like his, limped up the hill to them.

Maria Dixon had a limp for as long as Daryl could remember. A leftover result of an injury Will Dixon had bestowed upon her – throwing her down the front porch of their first house. Like him and Merle, she sported her own scars – one particular one just below her eye from a glass bottle breaking on her face.

To Daryl she was still one of the prettiest women he knew.

“Yeah, c’mon, let’s get on the road. Wanna get this over with,” Merle grumbled, his discomfort and fear shining through.

Daryl couldn’t really blame his brother. He himself was uncomfortable as well. Would they be accepted where they were going? Dixon aint ever needed to fit in or tried to but if this place they were going to was what it was, then would they even take someone as low life as him or Merle?

“It’ll be alright, Merle… C’mon. If it doesn’t work out, we can always run back here, okay?” Maria spoke to her son as if he were a small child pouting and like a small child, Merle was coaxed on by his mother as she reached and pat his scruff face before looking at Daryl and touching his cheek.

With a hesitant sigh, Daryl nodded and motioned them on, letting his mother lead them on, the world disappearing around him with each step until the old Greene farm was gone and Daryl could no longer hear or smell the earth.

He didn’t turn around. He’d promised Beth he wouldn’t look back… But he would wait for her… Wait for her in Heaven or Hell.

**Author's Note:**

> And there's that. It's not the best but the idea wouldn't leave my head sooooo here ya go!


End file.
